I guess I really just need to get this out there. Out on the internet, out into the universe, something. It needs to be said.
And when it comes down to it I really don’t know what it is I want to say. I resent myself for what I created.
I can’t accept that this is really all there is to it though. I can’t accept that this is how the story ends. Fairy tales don’t end with “and they both lived miserably alone, the end” I don’t know.
So I don’t know where this puts me. Stuck between what is and what could have been, what I wanted… What I still would love to have.
Maybe the world just has a funny way of working. Maybe someday destiny will force itself upon us. Right now that’s all I have to go on. That’s the only thing keeping me grounded.
True love never dies out. I know it will still burn inside me, as long as I breathe.
Right now I don’t know how to handle this though. I don’t know who to talk to, what to say. So for now I guess I’ll just keep writing. Writing letters to nobody, hoping fate will step in someday.
Someday…
I love how excited she gets about Christmas. I can’t wait to share it with her and shower her in gifts.
I want to let you know that you mean everything to me. I don’t think that you’ll see this any time soon, but whenever you do, if it’s a week from now, a month or more, it still holds true. You are the only person that has ever made me feel the way I do right now, and I’m so happy you feel the same as I do.
I miss her so much. I finally can call her my own, but I just want so much of her. I want her all day, every day. All to myself. I want her in my arms or her fingers laced in mine. Even when I get to see her, we have to share each other the whole time. I miss when we were at school and our days were just filled with each other. Work is boring and tedious. School consumes massive amounts of time. There aren’t enough hours in the day to satisfy my desire to be with her, even without all of these things in the way. It sucks. I feel incomplete without her. It’s pathetic, I know, but things aren’t the same without her around. I want to share everything I experience with her… I don’t know. I just miss her a lot.
